Behind the Black

Behind the Black 

The same presence in every dream. The lights upstairs are always off. The same force is always watching, smiling from the dark. No form or shape, just a smile. Sometimes smoky, blurred eyes. They are smiling too. It wants to watch me fail. Whether I cry in fear or smile in sin. It's just pleased in the pain behind out all.

To watch me burn in the end.

By Sara Yolanda Gauger
Posted 08/28/12

My PAINting

My PAINting

I hang my PAINting for all to see.

But no one wants to see my PAINting.

Maybe my PAINting is not all I think it to be.

Maybe I've dwelt too much on the details of my PAINting.

Maybe my PAINting is an eyesore to those around me.

Maybe the elements of my PAINting don't run together like i think they do.

Maybe my PAINting is too intense for the eyes of those I try to share it with.

If only I could sell my PAINting. But if I could, would I?

Could I bear the thought of someone else harboring my PAINting?

And in exchange for mere currency at that?

No. I couldn't.

Is it because I have put so much of myself into my PAINting?

Because it is simply MY PAINting?

Who would want it any way? Who would take my PAINting off of my hands if they could?

When I hang my PAINting up for all to see and no one turns a head, it hurts.

When I can bear it no longer and I begin to beg and plead for someone, ANYONE to view

my PAINting, it becomes lead in my blood. Judge it if you must but, by God, just glance at it!

All I ask is that someone give my PAINting the time of day.

A true friend would stop in their stride and take a look with me.

Help me analyze my PAINting and tell me what you think.

Tell me what's wrong with it and how I can make it better.

Reach out and touch my PAINting.

Feel it for yourself.

Experience what I experienced when it what first created.

Tell me how my PAINting makes you feel.

And as you've taken the time to step aside and let my share my PAINting with you,

I begin to feel better already.

As you've looked it over, while I've explained the different perspectives of it throughout,

the weight of it is lighter already as I gather it up and put it gently in it's proper place.

Amazing how a noticing eye can make all the world of a difference to a bearer of a PAINting

such as mine.

For a moment there, I began to wonder if my PAINting even existed

or if it was something only I could see and feel.

But you, you came along and you've acknowledged my PAINting and you've shown me

that I am not mad.

You've shown me that my PAINting is definitely worth a look.

You've seen the authenticity and worth of my PAINting and you've helped me see

how I can learn from it and do better in the future.

Thank you for stopping.

Thank you for looking.

Thank you for seeing my PAINting.

Thank you for seeing... My PAIN. 

By Sara Yolonda Gauger

Posted on 05/24/12